I've spent much time crying out to the Lord this week. I've asked for His help, His strength, His direction and, as always, His healing. There is a verse that came across my path three times, in three different ways: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest..." Matthew 11:28
This is something that I long for; I desire rest. It's hard to be sick and to care for small kids. Rest is not a big part of the program for them; my kids like to go. I asked the Lord to help me understand what that rest looks like for me. He showed me that a big source of anxiety for me is looking at the future: How will I get up and care for the kids tomorrow, how will I make to pick up my son from school, are my kids going to get sick if I feed them this processed food because I'm too sick to cook from scratch, will their IQ's drop because I allow them more media than I would if I was well, will I be this sick next week, next month, next year? (I know some of these questions might sound silly, but I'm trying to be real here)
Why do I keep worrying about the future?! Hasn't God shown Himself faithful? He has gotten me through every day the last two years. Some days gracefully and some quite clumsily. But, He has been faithful! Yet, I still get myself so worked up...why this setback, what should I do, why am I not further along in my healing from Lyme disease? I don't know the answer to any of these questions. But, I have a loving Father who knows the answers; I can trust Him. I can stop working myself up with these questions and entrust Him with my healing, the timing and how to get through the days until I am healed.“Look around you and be distressed, look within you and be depressed. Look to Jesus, and be at rest.” Corrie Ten Boom
My friend, I don't know what tomorrow looks like for you, I don't know what anxieties you have, but I know that the only answer is looking to Jesus today. I know that there are questions you want answered, but I know that dwelling on those questions will bring anxiety, not peace. Will you join me in resting, in looking to the only one who has grace enough for today? He will hold us and comfort us. Let's trust Him today.